Lost in the Shuffle & My Therapy Bike


March 9th 2015

Peaceful Maryland – 2015 Winter X Country Trip

Time is flying by and at times I feel like it’s all happening to fast yet too slowly.  “It” being my transition from Canada back to the USA.  I feel like I have been speaking about this for a long time but my decision to move really was only confirmed back in November 2014.  Yet, my life changes seem ongoing and at times I have to admit I feel a bit scared and nervous of the so many unknowns.

canada-us

My house has “almost” sold subject to subjects.  You know hardly any offers these days seem simple.  Par for the course.

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Complications, negotiations, contracts….strangers walking through my house, selling almost everything I own and trying to focus on the inevitable unknown future.  I do have the best realtor ever I have to admit. passports

Oh, and I passed my Citizenship Test for Canada on December 18th but still I am also waiting for my letter as to when I will be sworn in.  I am getting a little frustrated because I have been told that after I receive the letter it will most likely be another month before I can be sworn and then I need to apply for a Canadian passport.  I am doing this after 18 years living here so I will always have options.

Majestic

As I write this and watch Gone Girl and my little dog Xander needing TLC, pictures of eagles, one of my loves seem to relax me at 0147 in the morning.  Sleepless nights lately mainly because of the “Sun Down” dog senior needs but also this coming weekend most of my furniture will be taken away to be placed in their new homes.  Reminds me I am sort of homeless and jobless still.  Am I worried?  I think one can lose confidence in themselves when the world as I knew it has become foreign to me.  Focus on the negative versus opportunity.

Roller Coaster

Roller coaster for sure.  Some days I am so optimistic selling everything and I mean everything is the right thing to do and I am fortunate to have an opportunity to “start” over after my separation.  Other days I focus on the negative, down side constant conflict.  It’s the fear of failure I suppose.  Never really had this feeling so this too is uncomfortable.

Beauty

Now my bike.  I have ridden over 33,000 KM’s since May 2014.  Therapy?  Avoidance?  Both for sure.  My bike is on Long Island right at this moment. Hooked up to a tender for the first time.  I hear Long Island is starting to thaw out.  When I left on my trip I was diligent checking out regional forecasts.  Back east mid-February to March was as predicted.  Snowy and cold.

BRRRR

Back here, thanks to El Nino there hasn’t been a winter.

Hemlock Ski Resort

Even the local mountains were barren when I returned on February 16th and still are.

Hooked up to a Tender waiting for my return

I had the BEST  and I mean BEST winter trip this past January through February.  I have tried to take every advantage I could to ride my bike.  It’s an amazing to feeling to ride when life is “perfect” but when things are not?  It’s better.

cropped-dsc_0077.jpg

My therapy bike has done just that…along with friends/family/colleagues and my “Beauty”, I have technically “healed” and moved on relatively quickly.  There is one problem.  Why do I still feel so intimidated about my future and seemly agonize over things I still can not control?

Quote

Not having my bike here in BC is tough because it’s SPRING.  Everyone is riding.  I see paper license plates on the bikes who usually insure them at the end of April.  Just renewed my insurance for 6 months.  I hope to be able to call some State my home and registered it there.  I found an importer who will help me make my bike legal in the USA.  BMW makes it impossible for the rider to import on their own.  Don’t ask me why a bike is different from a car but it is for BMW.

It’s 0300, finished Gone Girl, did not like the ending, watch the last episode of House of Cards Season 3, OMG, the heat has gone on as scheduled and I just went outside to let one of my dogs pee and heard the local pack of wolves celebrating a kill.  What do they kill every night that makes their pack so happy and can feed them all?  I have counted up to 6 at a time around my house.

While I wait for the subjects to be removed from my accepted offer on my house I have been able to spend more time with my dogs.  Nice surprise because I thought December 29th 2014 was the last time they would be able to visit.

Sierra and Xander

They are getting older, been 2 months since I last saw them before this visit.  Sierra my 12-year-old large gentle grrl is slowing down yet my 14-year-old whose heart barely functions seems to be on crack.  You can never have enough pup picks in my posts. 😉

They go back to my Ex on Wednesday, March 11th.  I need to focus now on removal of the furniture I sold and prepare for my garage sale with hopes I sell everything else I am not taking or shipping.  Literally starting from scratch back in the USA. Scary, need to start making money and the kicker is when I do sell I will lose at least 20% if not more when I convert Canadian Funds to USA Dollars.

CDN money

The Canadian dollar has dropped tremendously over the last few months and is predicted to possibly drop another 10 cents by end of the year.  I have a Canadian Bank that has Cross Border branches so I will have to do a trickle down to the USA regarding money and HOPE the dollar changes.  Bad timing to move back but it was good timing when I moved here in 1998.

USD

I also have been really wanting to add another bike to my stable.  Many on my Face Book page must be sick and tired of my postings of wanna be bikes.  As soon as I can because insurance rates are much lower in the States i want to add either a DRZ 400 or DR 650.  Hmmmm….something to dream about while I am bikeless.

DR 650

DRZ 400

I will end this by saying I have had some amazing trips over the year. Vancouver to Long Island and back, tons of PNW trips, Winter X Country one way to Long Island and so on.

Montauk. LI

Met tons of virtual friends and old friends and those who ride have to know Anthony who runs Revzilla.  Nice gang there and when I visited last May it was a pleasure to meet the guy behind the videos.

Anthony from Revzilla

Stunning scenary

Glacier National Park

Held a private memorial for my beloved Cruizer

RIP Cruizer

I hope when I drive X Country in April or early May I can stop by where this rock is and place his urn on my way to New York.

Sequoia National Park January 2015

Can’t forget that I got to ride up to the General Sherman in the Sequoia National Park in the middle of January with my buddy Paul.  How many can say they have done that without being shut down to feet of snow?

Maybe I should do what Paul is doing?  Get a toy hauler and drive around with my bikes loaded looking for work?  Hmmmm…tempting to not have a fixed address.

Vancouver

The weather around Vancouver, BC all winter has been pretty much like this after the rainy January.  Amazing Spring has arrived so soon.

coast to coast

Many coast to coast trips, and another to come via my Fiat.

she is quick

Not sure where I will take her, what route, but that’s no surprise but I want to try to keep the car not fully loaded just in case I need to sleep in her.  Bringing my tent so I can vary my accommodations.  I anticipate having to fly back to BC for my citizenship but that’s not a big deal.  I want to be in NY by May.  I need to find a job and start by end of June I think.  Not a whole lot of time to adjust to my Native country.

I will miss this when I leave BC

I will miss the eagles when I leave BC but it’s good to know they are coming back in the east as well.  So, on this note…I will end here.  It’s 0400 and I have yet to go to “bed”.  Nap time as my dogs have been up and down with me all night.  More showings of the house going on with hopes I can get one with less subjects.  In the mean while I press on and find other ways to de-stress other than riding a bike.

17 Comments

  1. Jay A. says:

    Losing confidence in yourself when the world as you knew it has become foreign to you. I have had moments of that myself, after moving last year to small-town Maryland and figuring out what to do next as I wind down a 16-year career in Virginia state government. I sometimes find myself focusing on the uncertainty of what is ahead instead of the opportunity.

    Mark and I really enjoyed being a small part of your recent cross-country trip. If you find yourself over this way on your return to New York — or any other time — we would love to see you again!

  2. Jada says:

    You are probably bravest woman I know!

  3. amy says:

    Great end to a fabulous biography, good luck old friend in you future endeavours

  4. Yes, life can be like a roller coaster but just remember to focus on today and take it one day at a time. Everything will work out.

  5. RonZu says:

    Just sold my DRZ400s after 18 months. It’s a fun bike to ride until you take it on the freeway. It becomes a little too frantic for my tastes. Unless you just plan to just stay on the secondary roads, you’re probably better off with a bike that has longer legs.

  6. Wayne Lerch says:

    It’s always good to hear from you. I hope you get a chance to stop at Dozers memorial. Dogs fill our hearts with so much love and leave such huge holes when they leave us. My Jess has been goon for three years and I still miss her so much (there are tears in my eyes as I type this). I hope we get the chance to ride since you are looking to settle in the east. I am so jealous you met Anthony!

    Wayne

    • advgrrl says:

      Would be great to meet the east coast readers and yourself. One day at a time and I do hope I will eventually feel settled. And yes….DOGS always play a huge part of their owners lives. If they only knew how much! I love mine so much and tonight is our last night.

  7. This is one real post. I really love your reflective thoughts of yesterday, tomorrow and today. Keep on writing and keep on riding.

    I find myself actively trying to think in a positive direction. Sometimes a person can just be positive. Other times they must actively will themselves to be positive. Today I actually forced a smile on my face why at the store while buying a coke. I wanted to be miserable but forced a smile on my face and it worked. On the other hand, I think its good to have bad days because it makes those good days so much more special.

    I am working in the New England Area far from the Mountain State, the weather is improving and the snow will be melted before you know it. I cant wait to get home and jump on my FJR and go for a ride. One small step forward every day will eventually lead you to where you want to be.

    • advgrrl says:

      I can’t wait to ride in the east. I know the east well and to have a bike at this point in my life and to ride New England? Makes me smile. Yes..one day at a time. I will settle down soon enough. Thanks for your comment!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Good luck on your new life.
    I one the term “therapy bike” another form of therapy that works for me is going to the gym. Of course the bike therapy is easier and more fun.😀

  9. scotandcarol says:

    Funny how life unfolds for each of us. I admire the way you deal w uncertain terrain of the future by grieving your losses while reaching for your gains.
    Your winter trip was inspiring …if you can do that girl, you can do anything.

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