Saying Good Bye is NEVER Easy…


March 14th 2015 (videos included)

One of my MOST favorite pictures of Sierra

If you LOVE dogs like I love mine then you will understand why I feel compelled to do an entire post about saying good-bye to my best friends.  One of the hardest things over the year has been knowing that life changes comes with many consequences.

Cheryl took this photo

Since I am picking up and moving to the USA it may appear I am deserting my dogs or somehow I let Cruizer my Beagle down when I left for my X Country therapy ride after my separation.

I will try to return to this rock heading to NY this Spring to leave Cruizer’s Urn

I suppose the Cruizer thing is my own guilt and I am still dealing with not being home when he died June 10th 2014.

Cruizer April 2004 – June 2014 RIP Buddy

I look back to how Cruizer and Sierra shared a bond like no other.  She used to make sure he stayed in check when we went to the park.

Man was Cruizer ever cute….at least to me.

Am I being selfish by leaving Xander and Sierra behind?

I will take an old collar of Sierra’s to be with Cruizer always. They were inseparable.

The above video was made on March 11th as I spend the last few minutes with my dogs, Xander who is 14 and suffers from heart failure (he’s been treated with meds since 2008 after he was given a 4 month prognosis.

Xander is 14

I would say he has beaten the odds and has a great quality of life) and Sierra who is 12.  She is part Lab/Sheppard and her rear end is starting to drop.  We are treating her with physio, walks and some pain meds.  Sierra also has a great quality of life for now.

Sierra is 12

Back in December 2014 I thought that would be my last time seeing the dogs.  My plans to depart Canada for the USA are taking longer than anticipated as I am waiting for subjects to get removed from my accepted offer.  Still showing my house just in case but I want to try to stay for the closing if this happens.  Plus, no word yet as to when I will be sworn in as a Canadian Citizen.  I am going to have dual Citizenship which just keeps my options open for my future.

Dog Park

When I got back from my Winter X Country to NY on my bike, Cheryl agreed to let me have the dogs for almost 2 weeks.  It’s hard showing the house, getting kicked out with the dogs at any given moment but I had a great 12 days with them but this time has to be it.  Too hard to keep seeing them and then letting them go.

Xander is an amazing ALPHA dog.  No matter where we go he draws a crowd as well as Sierra being so beautiful. 😘  It’s Xander though who proudly stands his ground even if there is a fence between himself and the big dogs and is always in control of his situation.  I call him my little beast because he really has 2 personalities.  Xander can be cute and adorable and then a real nasty SOB.  I think the dominant and nasty side makes him stubborn and has kept him alive for so long even though his ticker hardly works.

Xander looks so innocent, don’t let him fool you

I’ve been asked “why not take them to the States with me?”  Well, I don’t really have any settled place for them, I don’t think driving such old dogs with medical needs is a wise thing to do, changing their environment too much would probably shatter them as well.  Leaving them with someone they know and LOVE, can take care of their medical needs, enjoys them despite Xander’s sun downing every day and insistence by barking excessively for more FOOD and treats…Cheryl can handle their special needs.

Cheryl walks the dogs all the time now.  It’s important to keep Sierra’s muscle tone up and since she has been doing this seems to be working out well for Sierra.  Xander enjoys the walks and is like the Ever Ready Battery bunny.  He needs walks at night too!

Common stance for Xander. Right near the treat bowl

Leaving them in Canada is the kindest thing I believe I can do for the rest of their lives with their other mom.

My dogs will be near and dear

They will always be with me, I have videos, pictures and memories.  Plus, I am certain Cheryl will share their lives with me once I leave.  My dogs are like my kids.

I hear from my neighbors they can not imagine their lives without their digs.  They can’t even allow themselves to imagine their own passing no less having to leave them if they moved or went anywhere that wasn’t stable.  Some believe dogs need to learn their place in the hierarchy of humans.

so precious when he sleeps

I believe my dogs are not only part of my family but I invite them to be treated as though they are my kids and live a very PLUSH life.  So, in I am leaving my kids with their other mother.  Wow, that’s hard to type.  Not because it’s Cheryl…just hard to know my role as the primary care giver is over?

Hmmmm…I just made myself cry.  😢

Sierra and Xander are best friends

The last night the three of us had together?  Turned out to be an ice cream date night.  I took us out for ice cream.  Yep…after a twilight park run

and then DQ vanilla cups with dog treats for Sierra and Xander and I myself had ice cream too.

yum

It was fun actually, and I have never done this before ever.

Happy Dogs

Sierra did finally get the treat and ate half the cup

Xander ate almost all of the ice cream of course

No one got sick…surprisingly.  So, after our date night they were beat and so was I.  Great way to spend our last night.  March 11th, we hung out in the back of my car until it was time to say good-bye.

kisses

Think Xander was bored with me 😉 while we waited

I handed off the kids to Cheryl and off they went.

Cheryl’s car now

Sierra ears back…her last look at me

Blogging this is helpful to accept the end of one chapter.  I can look back at this post over and over again no matter where I end up in the States.  Today I passed my Healthcare CPR and AED course and the first round of furniture left my house.  The Master bedroom suite.  So, it’s happening, I am moving…just still don’t know my departure date.

Master Suite gone to a very nice couple soon to be married

Now, it’s time to let go off possessions and start packing for things to ship and take it day by day.

I love you Xander, Sierra and of course Cruizer wherever you are.  I know you guys will have fun with your mother for the rest of your lives.  Mom

13 Comments

  1. Y O U N G & T W E N T Y says:

    <33

  2. Tammy says:

    Totally crying ;-(

  3. Maria says:

    I feel your pain 😦
    It’s a bummer but you’re doing the right thing.

  4. depietroplace says:

    I guess I ask myself….why does life have to be so hard? Just move forward. Keep moving forward.
    Strength and good will to you always.

  5. Kyniska says:

    OMG I’m crying for you too. You’re totally doing the right thing, the best for thing for them, but it has got to be one of the hardest things ever. Virtual (hugs) from Maryland….

    • advgrrl says:

      Just re-read this post and crying again. What a hard thing to do for me but for the dogs it;s the right thing for them. UGH…so many changes.

  6. Princess Scooterpie/Moto_Diva says:

    How are you hanging in lady, been thinking about you and sending you good thoughts with strength.

  7. advgrrl says:

    Reblogged this on Advgrrl Motorcycle Adventures & More and commented:

    I need to re-post this for me. My final good byes with Xander and Sierra before I left BC…since then Sierra has passed away…she is with Cruizer. Xander is left back in BC and at this moment I miss many things from my home for 18 years. New York is good, I am adjusting but my recent pass reminds me of all of my dogs and I miss them all.

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