Struggling with Diabetes….part of life
My name is Leslie…I am a diabetic.
When you see diagrams like the above you have to say to yourself…I am so embarrassed to have given myself diabetes. But the truth is it runs in my family. Maybe some of the above is true at times, but I am NOT embarrassed to say I have Type II diabetes. It’s not my fault..and it can’t be a prison sentence either. Diabetes for me is the biggest mind F@#K I have ever dealt with.
Since moving to the USA from Canada…my enemy has been my stress. Riding my motorcycle was a tool to de-stress. I am not riding enough. I chose to live on eastern Long Island…so, the way I used to ride in BC, Canada does not exist unless you get off the Island. Need to find a way to entertain myself down here as real life sets in…working, not what type of work I want to do but working nonetheless and also working on a career reinvention.
Oh, maybe that is part of my stress eh? I know everyone tells me it takes time. I am a TYPE A you know. Leaving BC, used to having it “ALL”…means nothing now. Wow that was a harsh thing to say wasn’t it? Let me rephrase that last statement. I have much more here in many ways. Family, a person who loves me…old friends and somewhat familiar environment.
Eating means all the difference between high or low blood sugars. I feel like an idiot at times…often analyzing more than ever what my body will tolerate and what it will reject. You see for me…my body seems to have a mind of its own. I can not really figure out why one day the foods I choose I do well and then next time my sugars spike. It’s not a game…seems simple to most because living with diabetes means you just have to eat well. Right? Not to sure about that but I do know I have been eating the best I have since living on the island. My partner and I do really well together. She understands the foods I can eat. We never eat fast food like I used to more than I care to admit. However, now I am on insulin and my nightly doses are going up…or should I say my body needs more insulin. I am in touch with my endocrinologist weekly and see her every 3 weeks. We adjust meds and insulin weekly.
Even my Endo isn’t sure what’s going on. STRESS…yep…I have it made so why be stressed out? That’s the part many don’t understand. Diabetes is a hidden disease. You can look good on the outside but your organs are screaming we are hurting. It took me 3 years to adjust to living in Canada. I have been Canadianized. Like when I moved to BC, I was told to forget the USA because Canada was my home now. Reversal is occurring now…forget CANADA you are back in America now. Forget my dogs, my jobs, my friends…the life I had most of my adult life. I can’t forget it and I need more time to adjust to being an American again. I need to ride. I need to find a rhythm and balance.
I need to ride more.
Moods? Well, that is part of it…love this next image
Anyway….another honest post. Many will BOOO this but it is what it is. I am working on all aspects of my health and adjusting slowly. I just speak my truth and although I am grateful for many things…life does throw you curve balls that are very hard to catch.