A friend of mine who writes her own blog about her bikes, trips and life experiences just posted after a long hiatus. Why? Well, like me, she didn’t have much to post about bike, trips but she did about life. Hence, why I haven’t posted anything in months. You see I feel if I have nothing pertaining to riding why write? This post is an update as to why I am NOT riding. Read along or “X”out if you choose.
In a nut shell I am bike-less. Sold my bikes because I can’t ride. Sold my bikes because it’s too depressing to be that aware I CAN NOT ride.
Riding requires eye sight. After numerous battles since 2014, divorce, motorcycle accident with fractured right tibia in 2015, hit with Graves Disease Sept 2016, “treated” the graves with radioactive iodine in December 2016, hit with 1 in a million thyroid eye disease (TED)in February 2017 and now? The thyroid eye disease has gotten so bad I have had at thyroidectomy, June 2018, Left eye orbital decompression surgery July 2018 and then right eye orbital decompression surgery Sept 13 2018. Also found out recently that my pigment epithelial detachment (PED), diagnosed in 2007, just bad luck to have it, has moved up towards my retina.
Two competing issues. I high dose steroids for Thyroid Eye Disease TED), not bulging eye one . but the use steroids made my detachment move. Down goes the steroids in come inflammation in my right eye. Bottom line I can not see well enough to work or drive consistently. Due to high dose use of steroids I also have steroids induced myopathy. Severe weakness and get out of breath easily.
So, you see…when for years I took vacations, took adventures on my bikes, explored new places…that was living. Now, I spend almost everyday off at the specialist office only to hear surgery is a defensive measure, there is no cure for TED and my endocrinologist saying I an in survival mode, just doesn’t cut it when it comes to riding a bike.
I dream bout riding again aimlessly and being back to me. I have no idea why my body has given out and my eyes. I have no idea what the future has in-store for me. Will I continue to see something? Will I be able to work? Will I be disabled? Dreading that possible reality.
I just don’t know nor do the specialists. So, there you have it. Silence broken…TMI, probably, getting re married though Sept 28th. I will look like Pam beat me up being only 15 days pot op from eyed surgery #2. She’s a saint, has to be since 2015 I been really in and out of commission up until present. What will we ever do if I actually get healthy?
That’s about it. Everyone says be patient…even though there isn’t a cure for either TED or PED, be patient. No prognostication. Be patient. So, I will. I have no choice. I am sidelined from work and as I be patient I go to the ocean a lot to swim and try to relax. Sounds like what a life but when your vision is so blurry you can’t even see the words as you type like I am here…it’s bit unnerving and scary. Love spell check these days.
If you read this thanks and if not totally understand. If there are grammatical mstakes or missing words, well…I did my best.